I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
You smell like stripper and shame
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize