He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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