It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
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