I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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