Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
