Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
