the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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