I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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