i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
