I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
