Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
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