I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I think people are normalizing furries
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
