Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I wear drunk well.
Randomize