I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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