My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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