pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
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I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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