Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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