Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
