therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
