I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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