return my video game
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Randomize
