I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
