Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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