I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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