There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
