ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
