You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
