We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
