I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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