there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
