Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize
