i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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