Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
