Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
