I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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