Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
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