i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize