I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
