jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize