There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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