You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
