I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
