The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize
