my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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