i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
