but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
