i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
