Is it normal to miss your booty call?
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
