Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
