Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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