Porn is love you can see.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
