um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
