Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Bring me that man meat
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
