are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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