We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
