Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Randomize
