And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
