he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
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