It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
