is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Randomize
