I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
