I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize