if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
