I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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