Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
