We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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