i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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