ya dads aren't the best wingmen
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I think people are normalizing furries
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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