Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
