Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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