My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
