so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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