can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize