thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
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