he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize
