we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
